Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I can't stand this anymore :(

I want to travel back and forth from my house to campus. I don't wanna stay here in Seberang. Every minute i feel like smacking someone's head and furthermore, I don't feel appreciated after what I've done here. People start to be selfish, back stabbing and use me for their own benefits. They call for my help whenever they're in trouble or need to do something. But when they don't, they'll act as if I'm not there. Is this they way friends should act? Is this the way friends should treat their friend? I may not be the most perfect person living here but at least i don't take advantage of people, i don't blame people for my own mistakes and i don't boss people around unless the situation ask me too. I feel as if I don't have friends here. Luckily Faizal and my seniors are with me. I don't feel the sameway like what i felt about my friends during 1st semester. Now they're different! It's better if i just transfer to other campus or to another college, KDU!

Before registering to UiTM, me and my family were discussing of signing me in to KDU for Culinary Arts programme but turns out, i was offered Hotel Management by UiTM so to make things easy and to safe cost, I registered myself in UiTM and that's the beginning of suffer.

1st semester : happy, friends are happy. Life is everything. Enjoying every moment of my life in UiTM.

2nd semester : problems start. Assignment, friends sulking and beginning to be selfish.

3rd semester : I think this semester is the worst! I hate it now.. I don't think i can go on. I'm not strong enough to face this alone. I have to make decisions..

4th,5th semester : not sure what's gonna happen next. Hope it'll be better and friends will act like a friend should act *hoping*

6th semester : luckily I'm out for internship :D

Decisions i have to make : 1. whether or not to discuss my problems with my friends or not
2. I should move out? Travel back and forth from home to campus?
or just remain where I'am now??

Pretty tough ones, I know! Considering all my housemates which are also my classmates of what they're gonna say if I move out. How am i going to explain everything? Why growing up is hard? I need a break from all this.

Mak & Bapak, take me to Bali to calm my mind down please :(

p/s : FML!


dyana "his other half" said...

hmmm, ini macam bukan masalah ja ni. ini alasan nak pege bali. makchak n pakchak jgn tertipu tau. ahahaha.

ok, let me get serious. during my uni years and even now. i never have any close friends. ahahaha. ye, saya katak bawah tempurung. tak suka berkawan ngan orang. because not all people are like us whom appreciate each other. just imagine i watch movie alone here in KL before i met abg fariq. because rasa susah la nak ajak kawan ramai2. nanti diaorg lambat la or end up they cancel it la. menyusahkan ja. so, i'll make my own plan, sapa nak join jom. tamau sudah. aku p sorang. ada aku kisahhhh.

aDILriDZ said...

i like your point kak diana.. :D

mmg been thinking about that tapi bila mengadap ja depa, i'll start to feel all those feeling (sad, disappointed, angry etc). I'm trying my hardest to focus only on study but the thing is i've made friends and its hard to look at friends acting like that. I felt that i've done something wrong that i deserve to treated this way. i don't think this is fair to me.

tapi bila ada semangat mmg i don't give a damn about anyone pon.. sapa ja yg pisses me off i'll give them a taste of their medicine the sarcastic way.. sampai depa terdiam. i know its not good to do that tapi hati dah geram anything will happen..

now adil share problem adil dgn sorg kwn ni n nasib baik dia paham sbb dia pon facing the same thing. so now, both of us are like twins.. sorg pi another will follow :P and it makes me happy thinking that i have at least a friend who appreciate me for who i am.. :D

wow, ni comment ka post :P haha thanks kak diana :D miss hadif and both of u and abg fariq :) <3

aDILriDZ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
.shz. said...

adil, i do actually understand how you feel..

kisah kita same je..

for me things started to go weary on the 3rd sem jugak.. dont really know how did i manage to pull through. just be strong okay?

because...(i quoted this frm Nur Kasih hehe)

untuk tiap benda buruk yang berlaku, Allah bagi dugaan dulu sebab ada benda baik yg akan datang. tapi kita harus ingat. untuk tiap benda buruk yg berlaku juga, kita perlu muuhasabah. kot2 ada kesilapan lepas yg belum ditebus.

be strong ya adil.

kak shz akn sentiasa ada dgn my juniors smpai end of my time here and also after this.

love you!

Aiman Syazwan said...

be strong ok!

aDILriDZ said...

kak shaz : thanks kak shaz.. will be strong and hold to what have been said by Nur Kasih :D love goes back to u.. love u!

aiman : thanks :D

Alida Alhabshee. said...

if dah lama simpan, juz kuarkan lar prasaan mara tuh..

marah kat semua org yg ko sakit ati. at least me or anyone tau yg we hurt ur feeeling.
sometimes people dont realize things happening in their surroundings. :(
jgn slalu pendam,nnty sakit.susah.

if im included in one of your evil friends, i apologies.sorry.tc

aDILriDZ said...

aku nak kuar kan alida tapi tak smpi hati. kat blog ja aku boleh lepas kan.. nanti kita lepak somewhere just the two of us kita sembang ek.. sorry alida..