I So Can't Believe This

first of all i want to apologize to my dear friend Joel. 

Joel if u're reading this,i'd like to say im sorry.

it's not that i purposely did the appointment after i said i was free the whole week,

early planning was all it takes. 

i was booked after i told u that i was free the whole week. 

don't get mad. i know i was wrong.

sorry and this is the final sorry, if u can't take it then beat it.

at least i said i was sorry.

to the main point.

i was kinda having some some with someone and would like to address this someone as ily.

so, we dated for few weeks and getting closer n closer. 

one day,ily kinda said that she wants this btwn us to work out because she likes me as much as i like her.

so at that point i was happy until she took it back few months later which was few days back.

ily said she's not busy but just not into love stuff for the moment. 

It was painful to read the message and this message comes after a few weeks of me feeling something's bad gonna happen btwn us. 

im saying that i saw this coming but not now.

it's like saying I Love You and take it back. 

it hurts so much.

everyone was telling me that the chances of ily cheating on me is very high. But i ignored it.

turns out it was true and i heard it from ily herself when we met. 

she only told me that after we discussed about other problems earlier. 

my heart shattered into pieces when i heard that. 

i couldn't believe that someone i really care about do this to me.

was told by my cousin that, no all things will go ur way and i keep that in mind.

not everything i want,i'll get it and not everyone i love will last forever even marriage. 

now im going thru tough moments as im trying to forget about it.

it's hard to do so because i was so in love since i haven't been in a relationship for quite sometime and for that sometime i mean 3-4years. 

hard time, hard time. 

now i can't stop tearing up because everything reminds me of ily.

i know it's silly to tear up for someone like this but please try to put urself in my shoes.

i don't know when i'm gonna recover from this tragic heart break condition.

• i need someone to cheer me up. 
  
• i need places that is peaceful for me to clear up my mind. 
  
• i need time to get over this.
  
• i need my friends to share this problems. 
  
• i need u to make me feel better(not gonna happen).
  
• i need things to do to help me forget about it.

i think the rest is up to me.  my CPU is jammed with this and i need to delete it and and store new informations. If not i might need new external hard-drive. :P

after i met ily,i went to Gurney to meet my cousin.

on my way to meet her,i found a thing that people hang in car nowadays and some stick at the car's window. 

i bought one with the writing says : HANDSOME, MACHO & SINGLE INSIDE.

LOL how funny. i think i'll stop here and will continue and post the picture of that thinggie i bought in the next post. 

p/s : i still care and love ily even though we're no longer together. sorry mak&bpk for not telling u guys about this(takot tak jadi,and mmg tak jadi dh). SORRY!! and thanks for those who listen to my problems. love u peeps. <3

Till the next post

Tata for now XOXO

- TTYL -